How to Fail Your Open Water Test Out

Tell your instructor you will race him to the surface.

Lie face down and motionless while holding your breath.

Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for "wussies".

Show up with a set of tables based on your own algorithm "that's WAY better".

Ask your instructor, which fin goes on which foot.

Tell your instructor there is no way you can lift a cylinder with 3000 pounds of air in it.

When asked for your dive plan, you hand over a bundle of travel brochures.